Benefits of being sexually abstinent

Couples who abstain their testimonies

What exactly are the benefits of abstinence form Sex and is worth it? I mean in todays day and age where people laugh at you for being a virgin, are there  reasons to remain a virgin or even to begin abstaining?

Abstinance image

Not having sex is beneficial because:

1. You don't have to worry about falling pregnant or contracting a sexual disease.
2. You can save yourself for someone who truly desrves you.
3. You become patient with your partner when you have him/her.
4. God will bless you with long life
5. You avoid having unpleasant memories of sleeping with your boyfriend should you split up.
6. You are more likely to achieve orgasms during sex
7. You have the time to avoid common mistakes
8. Its worth trying
9. You avoid depression
10. You can focus on school
11. You can focus on having a healthy relationship
12. You can enter marriage knowing that you are clean

What others say about Abstinence

How to abstain

Motivation 

What does the media say about people who abstain ?

Please have a look at the following links

Abstanance and contraception


What the Bible says about sex before marriage


The ANC says be safe, abstain and condomise


Masterbation and abstaining


Contraception methods


What teenagers say about abstinence


Being sexually abstinent can increase your intelligence

Cartoon motivation


Sex can wait


Quotes about sexual abstinence

• There is no condom for the heart. —poster at an abstinence conference
•  I don't want my wife to sleep with anyone but me, and I want to give her the same respect. —Elijah Martin
• When you doubt, abstain. Ambrose Bierce
• I want a girl who's going to respect me and my values. I don't want a girl who will tease me and try to tempt away my self-control. I'm saving myself for my wife, and I hopes she waits, too. I think to have it with someone else would tend to tarnish the completeness and uniqueness of our totally belonging to each other. I want to learn how to make love with the person I'll spend my life loving. —17-year-old boy
• Sex is not an entitlement. It's a privilege that goes with marriage. —Fr. Dave Pivonka

What to do together instead of having sex

Help centres

Sex and Pornography
Phone:	082 791 5942
Email:	sexaholichelp@gmail.com
Website:	www.sexaholics-anonymous-in-africa.com
Address:	All over the country ,

Top 5 Sexual tips- for men 

There’s nothing sexier than a confident man, and confidence comes from knowing you’re free from infections and practicing responsible sexual behaviour.

If you’re like most other guys, you want to maintain optimal sexual health – which means that STIs are definitely not on the cards. Here are the top five things you can do to enjoy an exciting and vibrant love life without any nasty infections.

1. Abstain from sexual activity

We know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but abstaining from sex is the most effective way to protect yourself against STIs and HIV. That means no vaginal, anal or oral sex, all of which can transfer STIs from one person to another. This also means you’ll need to practice loads of willpower, and we get that it isn’t always easy to resist. If you really can’t abstain, that brings us to our next few points…

2. Get circumcised

If you’re a sexually active guy, it’s a really wise idea to get circumcised. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), male circumcision can reduce the risk of heterosexually-acquired HIV infection in men by up to 60%, provided the circumcision is performed by trained professionals in a safe and hygienic environment. Remember though that circumcision cannot fully protect you against STIs and HIV, which means that even if you’re circumcised, you must still use condoms, or be faithful to one sexual partner (who is also STI-free), or practice abstinence.

3.Practice responsible sex

This takes three simple steps: First, talk to your partner about STIs and using condoms before you start having sex. If s/he doesn’t respect your need to protect yourself, that’s a huge red flag, and you should seriously re-consider getting down ‘n dirty with them. Second, use condoms every time you have sex – no excuses! Make sure you both have condoms on hand at all times so you can be spontaneous without risking your health. Make sure that you’re using them correctly and never use a condom more than once. Third, stay faithful to one sexual partner. This is one of the most effective ways to reduce the risk of spreading STIs.

Understand the difference between birth control and STI protection

Birth control protects against pregnancy but it cannot protect against STI and HIV infection. If your partner is using any form of birth control (i.e., the pill, the injection, the loop, the patch, etc), you still need to use a condom every time you have sex to prevent STI infection.

Get tested

Knowing your status means you can stay healthy and make more responsible decisions about your sex life. Get tested on your own or, if you have a partner, go together. Trust us, knowing the results is a huge load off your mind and it will empower you to have a safer and more fulfilling sex life.

Remember guys: most of the time, men don’t experience any visible signs of STIs, when men’s STI symptoms start showing, that STI would have been left untreated for a long time; which is why it’s so important to get tested regularly. Guys it’s not enough for you to rely on your partners STI diagnosis, be responsible and get yourself tested too. Marie Stopes centres across SA offer confidential HIV and STI testing, and some of our branches offer medical male circumcision andvasectomies. It’s the best place to go for all your sexual healthcare needs.

Sex Talks

Why wait

Do you think being sexually abstinent is beneficial or would you rather not abstain?

Consensual sex versus non consensual sex

What is consensual sex?

Tools every women must have 

2 options

How to prevent  rape 

Do men get raped? 

How can men protect themselves? 

What is non consensual sex?

Do you feel that your partner respects you and obtains consent from you before sexual intercourse? or do you just agree to have sex? if so what are your reasons?

So what do schools or friends teach each other about sex?

Public Relations


The definition of a public relations is stated in the video above.

As a Public Relations student I thought it is important to find out what exactly is taught about sex:

In college

What friends think...




                                                                  In church

In University

Are students comfortable talking about sex?

If you were an educator what would you teach high school students about sex and what would you teach University students/  graduates about sex?

Are you comfortable talking about sex? why or why not?

10 sexual positions that work best in bed

Sexual Positions top 10 

1

The submerine

                                                                                   2

The rocker

3

69

4

Spooning

5

Burning man standing

6

The advanced crabwalk

7

8
Pleasure pick me up

9
Verene

Doggy

10

Soap and grope

Do you think these positions are best or can you suggest other positions that you feel work better?

Pregnancy talk

Pregnancy

Have you ever wondered how universities deal with pregnancies? I mean the question is what would be the correct way to address students? , especially those who have sex in  their first few weeks as first years at university and come back home with a degree in bearing children?... Lets look at how Universities deal with this and if there is any discrimination that takes place.

Lets look :

Wits- You can stay but leave before the baby comes: "WITS students who are pregnant are being requested to leave res by the time they are eight months along, according to several students."

Views Expressed by Wits about pregnancy:

•  Fathers of babies became angry when told about their girlfriends being pregnant, they became responsible fathers only when it is convenient for them... See more
• Prospective Wits student who is pregnant and determined to study at wits: "I know all that stuff, contraceptives, condoms and abstention. I became pregnant well aware of those things, but then I kept myself out of it until just on a silly night" Read further...
• Wits realizes that:  "When students DE-register  their degrees as a result of pregnancy. They will either say it is a wrong choice of study or for personal reasons, we will not know why they really cancelled."
• Wits advice on pregnancy:  Wits Med, Come see us and You are not alone.

University of Limpopo (2.6.1)-  We don't want pregnant students: "The University does not have facilities for pregnant students, and therefore the University cannot be held liable or responsible for any injuries or complications related to pregnancies of students in that condition."

Views expressed by University of Limpopo about pregnancy

• Devries, Free, Morison and Saewye (2009) conducted a survey to determine the factors that are associated with pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections 276 Tladi and Jali among aboriginal students in British Columbia. Their findings were that 34.8% of young women had never had sex, whilst 33.7% of young Aboriginal men had never had sex. Among the young women who had ever had sex, 10.6% reported having been pregnant and 4.2% had never been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection. Read more on  Factors contributing to pregnancy amongst female students at the University of Limpopo, Turfloop campus, South Africa
• University of Limpopo: "Statistics South Africa’s 2012 report on the social profile of vulnerable groups in South Africa states that 65.1% of children live in low-income households with a per capita income of less than R650 per month. This level of economic stress and poverty explains why South Africa’s social grant support is one of the largest social assistance systems in the world. The child support grant, together with the old age grant, constitute about 75% of total grant spending (South Africa.info 2014)", Continue reading.
• There is a low percentage who use condoms:  Low regular condoms use (43,4%), having multiple sexual partners(30.9%) and non use contraceptives (50.5%). Other risk behaviours related to illicit sex were going to disco or parties (43.5%) and alcohol (28.5%)" See more.

Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University - We advise for there to be parental guidance: Any woman under the age of 18 years will be advised to inform her parents as stipulated
in the choice of termination of pregnancy act nr. 92 of 1996;In all instances the University and Student Housing Management cannot be held liable by the student or parents/guardian of any misfortune the student might experience during her pregnancy.  The Student must be made to understand that the baby cannot be brought back to residence after delivery.

Thoughts on pregnancy 

Background characteristics of teenage Mother sample in Eastern Cape (pg 25)
Population group	9.2% other 90.8% black
Care givers present in lives?	50% have parents present 8.2% of students are alone 31,6% have other relatives 10,2% have a partner present
Did you want the pregnancy?	87,4% did not want the pregnancy 12,6% wanted the pregnancy
Are you married?	86,1% of teenage mothers are not married 13,9% were married

• We recommend that you know your HIV status
• Contact our Campus health.

 Isobels experience on being pregnant& University of Tswane thoughts

Isobel University 2nd year student at University of York:
I barely attended any lectures,” she says. “I did as much as I could at home and then had to really cram when it came to exams.”
University of Tswane:  “Some financially needy students become pregnant only to receive a social grant, not realising that caring for a baby costs much more than the actual grant.”

Do you think that students who are pregnant should be kept in residence? How do you think people in relationships should behave? Is it appropriate for fathers of babies to deny responsibility?  What can be done about mothers who did not want to have their children? How should these children feel?

Sex

Sex Education

It is important to know about sex in todays society. There is a lack of research in Sub Saharan Africaregarding sex education.Sex therapist Michael Metz and Berry Mccarthy says that the best sex happens in couples that have been together 15 years and longer.

How do you know if you are ready for sex.. see the link on your left.

Its interesting to see how sex is viewed in different cultures and to see whether or not Universitities struggle with students who see sex as a casual activity that is encouraged among peers. Today we look at the various cultures that exist and we see whether or not cultures are responsible for the way in which sex is viewed today... 

How people define sex

 Family life:  sex is defined as  " a beautiful, God-given desire that can bring a husband and wife together in oneness. We also believe sex is a thermometer that measures the depth of the relationship—its presence or absence often indicates the level of commitment and intimacy in other areas of your marriage."; Dictionary.com : the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct. Your dictionary defines sex as: a designating of reproduction involving the fertilization of a female gamete by a male gamete.

Cultures in relation to intimacy?

Xhosa: In Xhosa tradition, one often found a girlfriend or boyfriend by attending dances. One popular type of dance, called umtshotsho or intlombe , could last all night. On some occasions, unmarried lovers were allowed to sleep together provided they observed certain restraints. A form of external intercourse called ukumetsha was permitted, but full intercourse was taboo. For Westernized Xhosa, romances often begin at school, church, or through mutual acquaintances. Dating activities include attending the cinema as well as going to school dances, sporting events, concerts, and so forth.


Traditional Afrikaner dating and marriage practices involved a young man courting his girlfriend, and then formally requesting permission from her parents (especially her father) to become engaged. For three Sundays prior to the wedding, the couples' names were read in church. If there were no objections raised (for example, that one was already married to someone else), the marriage was performed in church, with a reception afterward.

Zulu: It is not unusual for young men to have as many girlfriends as they wish. If they can afford it, they can take more than one wife when they decide to get married.

Sotho: Dating was not part of traditional Sotho life. Marriages were arranged between families, and a girl could be betrothed in childhood. Nowadays, most people pick their mates.

Swazi: Adults wear beads to designate social and marital status. A young woman gives beadwork to her sweetheart as a token of love. In a sense, the beadwork serves as a "love letter." Different bead patterns represent different stages in the courtship.

Are there ethics surrounding sex?

Yes there are, please read the  different religious sexual ethics and the Christian Sex Ethics. 

Is there sexual violence in Universities?

University of Pretoria:

"There is a residence called Kollegetehuis where the boys are rewarded for sleeping with the most girls. If you've slept with the same girl for two months, they will make you sit on a bachelor's bench. They also sing songs about how hard the guys should fuck the girls," she said."There is a pool table where girls can't play unless they are topless."

University of Stellenbosch:

 Professor Amanda Gouws: “Students have a competition of who they 'slept' with.

University of Cape town : 

Sexually assaulted student: "The university has a history of silencing sexual assaults and rape cases. My intention was to bring the lens on patriarchy and rape being an issue of power dynamics."

 Rhodes University:

SRC:  least 21 students who have been raped or sexually assaulted at the university since the beginning of this year alone.

Wits

A Wits student claims she was sexually assaulted during a violent eviction from a university building on Tuesday morning, the university says it will investigate the incident.

As according to statistics produced by Harvard University:  14.4% of female graduates and 2.95% of male graduates reported that they were sexually assaulted at some point at Harvard. 55% of the entire graduating class said they knew someone who had been sexually assaulted during their time at the university.

How many people spend money buying tools for sex?
As according to the sex toy industry statistics South Africa is the third country out of 10 that has the most  google searches for sex toys. See more

Guidelines in Sex

Strictly for teens
For University Students
For Married couples

Does your culture teach you enough about sex? How can Universities better address the issue of sexual violence?